First, if you missed the first two blogs leading up to this and want to catch up, here are the links to those:
Last week, we went to the darkest part of my marriage. The first five years that were brutal to me emotionally. I had so many followers reach out to me thanking me for sharing it because they were going through similar things. And the messages telling me they couldn’t wait to hear about the light at the end of the tunnel made me bawl. This is why in 2021, I’m diving into storytelling about my marriage through my beautiful images. But more on the full details of that later. I promised you a blog full of my usual sunshineyness and I never forget a promise. 🙂
So fast forward 6 years and where are we now?
We are in the honeymoon stage that we never got to experience since our wedding wasn’t the ever after, sweep you off your feet kind of day. It was a necessity, but I’m beyond grateful for it.
Casey swears he loves me more than I love him. I don’t know if that’s possible. I think I’m just more reserved in the way that I show it because of the scars from our past.
From 2014 to now didn’t just happen at the snap of our fingers though. It took me years before I stopped checking his phone every night. Until this past year, he still struggled with putting me before his friends. I always felt my needs were put on the back burner and we finally were at a place where we could sit down and discuss it without him storming off or me zapping him with comment after comment about things I keep in my “Rolodex” as he says.
We make so much time for one another now. I don’t mean going out on fancy dates or finding a sitter for the kids every weekend. Little things like cleaning the kitchen together with the music blaring while taking breaks to dance together or sing ridiculously with one another.
If I could tell every couple one thing going into their marriage, it would be that nothing is more important than an open communication line and the willingness to keep trying to better yourself for your spouse.
Casey swore I was trying to change him and wasn’t accepting who he was, but remember how I saw bigger and better things for him and our relationship. He wasn’t even willing to listen to me when I’d try to explain.
That stubbornness and lack of communication is what it all boils down to.
Both of us have changed so much. (And I’m not just talking about the mom & dad bods we rock now lol ) . I’ve learned to bite my tongue, to give him space he needs.
The biggest game changer for me was learning to text him a thought out message first thing in the morning so he has all day to think about it before he comes home. This helped me have the chance to reword things that sounded too harsh and gave him the opportunity to think it through and cool off before we talk in person that night.
Marriage is not a one way street. It takes both of you to make it work. Casey has always been willing to try to work things out, apologize and come back to listen. If you or your spouse refuse to listen, to communicate or to nix bad habits that are disrespectful to one another, you can’t expect it to work.
We still have our demons and I’ll dive into specific topics in upcoming blogs but for now…
Join in the conversation this Wednesday, December 23rd, at 8am CST. I’ll be going live to answer questions about the last three blogs and anything else you’d like to know about our marriage. If you can’t join in live but have a question, no worries! You can submit it ahead of time to my inbox either on FB or IG.
See you all soon!